some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
