funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
