last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
