I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
