i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
