Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
