all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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