So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
