Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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