But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
