Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
