So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
