Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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