well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
