38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
