he was CRYING into my vagina
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
