He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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