In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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