I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
