Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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