I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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