the condom got lost in my hair
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
