The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
