The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
