please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
