I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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