If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's like iHOP with fire
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
