Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
