shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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