I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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