For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
