My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
