NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
