Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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