Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize