I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
