he thought i was a dude.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
