But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
FUCK WHALES
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
