she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
