if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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