I'm eating all of the evidence.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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