somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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