My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
