I want to stick my p in your. b.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
