Cold hands, warm shart.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
