got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize