So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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