"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
