Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
