The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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