I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When did angry sex become our thing?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
