she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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