We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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