he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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