I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
