Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love accidental penises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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