craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
