too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Found the puke drawer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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