Hippo gnu deer
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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