this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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